Justice League Blu-Ray Review

Release: 26th March 2018
Cert: 12
Format: BR / DVD / DGTL

Fueled by his restored faith in humanity and inspired by Superman’s selfless act, Bruce Wayne enlists the help of his newfound ally, Diana Prince, to face an even greater enemy. Together, Batman and Wonder Woman work quickly to find and recruit a team of metahumans to stand against this newly awakened threat. But despite the formation of this unprecedented league of heroes—Batman, Wonder Woman, Aquaman, Cyborg and The Flash—it may already be too late to save the planet from an assault of catastrophic proportions. 

 

To get a second bite of the cherry means to be offered a renewed opportunity at something despite failure or a weak primary effort. Justice League is not Zack Snyder’s first or even second bite of the cherry. He has been making awful films his whole career. Some have been exceptionally bad, while others are passable. Justice League may have two sets of fingers prints on it (the others being Joss Whedon’s), but it is undoubtedly as heinous as anything Snyder has ever made. Geeks, do not be fooled, a ‘Snyder Cut’ would make no difference.

From the off this is a stinky turd. Put aside the hideous aesthetics and bad acting, the opening sequence to Justice League, like a Randy Orton RKO, comes out of nowhere. We are thrust in to a world of bug aliens and a Gotham City that looks almost entirely nothing like that of the previous car crash that was Batman vs Superman. It is like trying to orientate yourself in centre of a mosh pit. Things only get worse. Aside from a sluggish and suicidal looking Ben Affleck we are treated to Aquaman (bi-polar surfer dude), Barry Allen (ADHD Spider-Man), and Cyborg (a character so flavourless, he makes vanilla look like Cocaine). Even Wonder Woman, riding on a high from her solo success, is not safe from the woes of this pungent mess.

As we are tortured with a CGI world less tangible than a fart in a wind machine, the film presses forward with some monumentally uninspiring set pieces. How on God’s green earth do you make a giant spider-car boring!? To make matters worse, Steppenwolf feels like he is steppen on egg shells. Just another feckless wisp of a villain for the DCEU. All of this serves to further what is a highly unpleasant viewing experience.

There is no reason at all for the film to be anywhere near this bad. The legacy of these characters rich and ripe with cues to create an altogether enjoyable and fun film. Yet somehow Snyder and Whedon have managed to syphon out any redeemable qualities from every character; leaving behind what can only be described as a very unlikeable bunch indeed. Oh, and an actual plot would probably have been a deft touch as well.

Some may chuckle from the peppering of jokes, while Aquaman riding a corpse through the roof of a building could be considered entertainment, but none of it can justify the punishing drivel that makes up 99% of the film.

It is a tragic turn of events that led to Snyder’s departure from the film, and our hearts go out to him and his family. One can only surmise that this will inevitably lead to a hard reset on the DCEU. Something that will hopefully mean better things for these terribly mistreated icons of pop culture. Let Justice League be the end of an era and let us cross our fingers as we usher in the dawn of a brighter prospect. One where James Wan redeems Aquaman, where Matt Reeves brings Batman back from the brink, where Ezra Miller can balance his kooky take on the Flash, where Wonder Woman can dust herself off, where Cyborg uploads a personality, and where Superman can reclaim what is rightfully his; a top lip.

Film Grade: E

Special Features:

The Blu-Ray case promotes “scenes not in cinema”. What this amounts to are two throw away sequences involving Superman. There are a lot of nods to the growing DC universe through Making Ofs and Character Histories. While Ray Fisher is given more to do in a feature about The Flash, Aquaman and Cyborg than he was given to do in the entire movie that it accompanies. What is most striking is how absent both Snyder and Whedon are from all of the above; with the former mostly seen in on-set footage. The most interesting feature of all is Suit Up, which looks at the various costumes and the detail they each contain. That and the hilarious sight of Gal Gadot in a Batman cowl.

Special Features Grade: C

Summary:

Easily the worst superhero film in a long, long time. With very little to enjoy, you’d be forgiven for pretending it doesn’t exist at all.

Overall Grade: D

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